Do away with that which no longer serves you
12 behaviors to leave behind as we enter 2024
As we near the end of the year we find that these cold, short days are a good time for reflection. And as the new year approaches, it’s easy to start dreaming of things we want to do, to look forward. But I think it’s worth taking a moment to pause and think about the things that no longer serve us—things we should leave behind.
Today I thought I’d highlight 12 behaviors we can comfortably leave behind us so that we can have a truly stellar 2024. Let’s do this:
Stop procrastinating: Easier said than done, but if you find yourself procrastinating a lot, then spend some time reshaping your environment, your days, your routines, your calendar, etc so that you can get stuff done. For me, procrastination comes hand-in-hand with perfectionism, it tends to strike when I’m faced with a task that seems more complex than I think I can handle. I’ve learned the best thing is to ‘just do it.’ Think of it like exposure therapy. Just get started, make some progress, then take a step back and assess. At work, this looks like doing something and then getting feedback from others to help guide my next attempt. At home this might mean I time-box my work for 45 minutes, then that’s it for the day—I’ll come back to it tomorrow. Just face it, set some parameters if you have to, then stop. At least you’ll have done something rather than a whole lot of nothing.
Stop thinking that just because something is on your to-do list that it is actually important: I’ve wasted so much time in my life thinking that just because I’ve agreed to do a task (even if that agreement was just with myself), that that thing is actually important and must get done. Turns out that’s bogus! So, give yourself permission to drop things from you to-do list, or to go back to whoever has asked you for something that isn’t actually that valuable and re-negotiate. Be highly critical of your to-dos and asks, and don’t forget you have options with them. Let’s look real quick at the 5 D’s (it’s officially 4, but I’ve added one):
Do: if a task is important and can only be done by you, then do it. Also if it takes less than 5 minutes, just get it out of the way. You will thank yourself later.
Delegate: sometimes a task can and should be dealt with by someone else, this could be your colleagues, a friend, a family member, a professional. Don’t be a jerk, but give yourself permission to ask for help if it makes sense to do so.
Delete: If it’s unimportant, delete it. Don’t do it. Your time is precious. Save it.
Delay: If you’re unable to do one of the above three options, then set a reminder to revisit the task at a later time. Tip: Create an actual notification or calendar event so you won’t forget it!
Diminish (this is the one I’ve added): Right size your tasks. Sometimes we get asked to do things and we start with an assumption about what the task should be, but maybe there’s some excess that we can shave off and a smaller version of the task would do just fine.
Stop pretending like your needs don’t matter: Holy hell, they do. I’ve witnessed far too many people—men and women—say Yes to things that over-stretched them for one reason or another. Folks, can we not? We’re all grown ups. At a minimum we should be able to respectfully claim what it is that we need to operate at a healthy baseline. There’s definitely some fuzzy boundaries here, and I’ve also witnessed adults turn their expressions of need into entitled behavior or roadblocks—try not to do that, be respectful. But no more of this martyr behavior, ok? No more agreeing to things that don’t resonate positively in your soul.
Stop overcommitting: Learn to say No gracefully. Prioritize your own well-being and creative pursuits over overwhelming commitments. Remember what Ru Paul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” The same goes for committing, if you can’t commit to yourself, how are you gonna commit to anything else that’s meaningful?
Stop ignoring your energy levels: Know thyself. If you’re feeling like you need some rest, then don’t try and force yourself to be productive and creative. It’s ok to take a break. Schedule demanding tasks for times when you know you’ll have more energy, and allow yourself time for rest and rejuvenation. It’s totally ok to be a couch potato sometimes, I promise.
Stop playing it safe: Step outside your comfort zone! Try some new things, whether it’s taking a different route to work, travelling to a new city, or testing out a new technique or medium in your creative work. Expose yourself to things outside of your bubble. Embrace curiosity and the potential for surprise. Do things that make you a little uncomfortable. You never know what you might gain!
Stop comparing yourself to others: Social media comparison kills creativity, focus, and ambition. Focus on your own journey and celebrate the everyday wins. The only thing that matters are the actions you take every day, however small—just keep going and don’t worry about anyone else. We build brick by brick. Tip: Start a spreadsheet or a notes list and jot down a thing or two each day that are wins—doesn’t matter how small or big, just write them down. I use this method when I’m feeling particularly rife with self-doubt, it really helps me to recount the wins. At some point you won’t need it. But forget about comparing yourself to others—the only competition worth entering is the one with yourself.
Stop seeking external validation: Don't let likes and comments dictate your worth. Don’t wait around for others to validate you or your work. Find intrinsic motivation and celebrate your process, not just the final product. Celebrate yourself for showing up day by day. Celebrate yourself for committing to something larger than yourself. Remind yourself of how very many people on the planet will never commit, or are stuck under the covers doom-scrolling while you’re out here showing up.
Stop fearing failure: Mistakes are stepping stones, not roadblocks. Remember Bob Ross’s famous words, “No mistakes, only happy accidents.” Embrace challenges, learn from setbacks, and see them as opportunities for growth. Imagine how little you’d gain if you never took action, never failed, never messed up? Every warrior has a few scars.
Stop holding onto negativity: Grudges, regrets, and constant complaining poison creativity and joy. Sometimes life really sucks, or someone’s behaviors or actions make us feel like an angry, sad kitten. But don’t get too hung up on things that have happened in the past. If something or someone is repetitively negative, then face it and move on. Practice forgiveness, gratitude, and focus on moving forward. Get therapy if you need it. Or a life coach. Or download a meditation app. Whatever it takes. Dump that baggage and move on. Life is too short.
Stop ignoring your inner child: Reconnect with your playful side! Spend time in nature, engage in silly activities, and let your imagination run wild. Fun fact, there are a couple of playgrounds in Sheffield that I can hardly pass by without popping in and having a go on the slide or a swing. And no matter how old I get, I will always allow myself turn to mush around animals. Also I still finger paint, regularly 😂 Have fun!
Stop neglecting self-care: Your creativity and happiness thrive on a healthy body and mind. Prioritize good sleep, nutritious food, exercise, and stress management. There’s endless knowledge out there on how to do all these things really well. Remember that your body is a machine—you can absolutely calibrate and reprogram it to feel better, and if your body feels better your mind feels better, etc. Treat your body with respect, please.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you being here with me!
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This is a great read. It touches on the core of many challenges we face or create ourselves, mostly unconsciously. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Merry Christmas and a joyful, healthy, creative 2024.